Day 12 (Tracking Time)

AlthoughI found it difficult to remember to enter everything I did, I know the end result will be enlightening.

The first step for me, and one Cheryl recommends in her book, is to look at how I spend my time. Using a circle with each part of my life defined as a segment (a pie chart), are the segments equal and balanced? Am I living a balanced, “Whole” Life? Or am I spending more time “contributing to others in some way than I spend on my spiritual well-being or having fun?” Does the relationship segment include more time working on troubled relationships or caring for others than time sharing and developing relationships that offer nurturing and enjoyment? How will  I evenly distribute my time and energy among the segments of my life?

Day 9 (Sharing)
I hadn’t been out of the house for a week, but today – this morning – I spent it with a special group of friends. About 12 of us from my adult Sunday school class gathered at a friend’s home for a special sendoff breakfast for Laura. We’ve all bonded over the years through our Sunday connection and other church-related activities, so saying goodbye to one of us isn’t easy.

In 10 days Laura will leave for a 6-month assignment in Germany. She’s a psychiatric nurse (earned her PhD this past summer) with the Air Force; she recently returned from Iraq. As you might imagine, her job as a nurse is riddled with the pain of war.

Throughout the morning we shared stories and concerns about the world, our families, and our work, and we prayed about Laura’s time in Germany and the family she’ll leave behind (her husband and two boys). We learned more about Laura as she answered our questions about her nursing and Air Force careers. Our connections to each other grew that day, as we gained additional insights into each others’ lives. We’ll surely miss Laura, and we’re proud of her willingness to sacrifice and serve. A part of us will be with her in Germany.

Day 10 (Heart, Mind, Soul)
Today is Sunday (Day 10), a time set aside for worship. I’ve been attending this church with my husband for several years, and we have settled every week in the same seats – the left section several rows from the back, on the aisle. I missed going to church last Sunday, and today my voice still wasn’t strong enough to sing with the Praise Team. Instead, I sat with the congregation and participated in worship from the pews.

We (Ken and I) arrived after the first song and took a seat in the middle section (there were no seats in the left section where we normally sit). At first it seemed odd to be in this there, but as the service progressed, I actually found myself enjoying the service from this new vantage point. Sitting in this new and different section was again symbolic of the New Year. I think the Lord is telling me to open my heart, mind and soul to all that is new and available to me in this New Year.

Days 3 thru 7 (demise of a bug):

Beginning with Day 3 the total loss of my voice (oh, the pain of not being able to talk!), as well as all the upper respiratory stuff that is behind that, put me into the role of nurse – nurse to myself.  I rescheduled important commitments and even had to ask my trainer buddy, Desirée, for assistance (she’s a gem!). I stayed in touch with clients and responded to their needs, but that was all I did related to work.

I’d been here before; this type of attack on my health was/is a common occurrence, and I knew what I had to do – drink more fluids, rest my voice and my body, use over-the-counter remedies to relieve the symptoms and hopefully catch the bug before it worsened.

By Day 6, my voice tried to be known, and I was able to talk on my rescheduled VTP class for an hour. I saw this as somewhat of a victory; getting my voice back, albeit a scratchy voice, indicated I was on the road to recovery. After the call, I continued my resting regime and did little else.

But the morning of Day 7 revealed something different. My voice was better, but the “bug” had expanded to a barky cough and a painful ear. I had tried to avoid this stage, but it was obvious that the bug was winning. By early afternoon I knew I had to get medical intervention. The nurse practitioner uncovered each aspect of this bug’s attack – ear infection, sinus infection and bronchitis! I was so discouraged, as I had done everything I knew to stop this from happening. Later that afternoon when I unpacked the 3 prescriptions and began the 10-day course of antibiotics, I realized it could have been much worse had I waited another day. By doing what I had all week (making my health a priority), I had prevented the bug from total victory (it could have been pneumonia by now). I was now on a course of recovery, and I knew in two days I would feel better. The bug would lose.

You all know that women tend to keep on going, even when we’re not feeling good. The lesson for me (and hopefully you) is to stop and listen to your body. Ask for help and rely on your friends and family to pick up your responsibilities for a few days. Then listen more and take action – don’t deny yourself medical intervention. You’d take your children and insist that your husband go to the doctor, so do the same for yourself.  Self care means paying attention to your body, as well as your soul.

Day s 2 & 3 (loving partnership): Ken, my husband and partner in life, and I launched the beginning of a good-sized interior design project – adding wainscoting (paneling and chair rail) to our dining room.  It began with measuring and remeasuring and then with Ken using the table saw and me supporting the 12 x 8 sheets of white panel board as they were cut. Then it was applying the adhesive and adhering each sheet to the wall. It didn’t stop there. Ken filled the seams and staple gun divets and primed and painted the paneling. Then it was on to the chair rail moulding – painting, filling, and sanding and re-sanding and then lots of touch-up painting (all of this was my biggest contribution). It was a two-day project, and the gifts to each of us were several: working side by side in harmony, accomplishing a goal together, and being happy with the result and with each other.

Why is this “Self Care?” Because I love designing and creating a beautiful environment, and doing it with Ken made it more fulfilling.

Why self care? It’s commonly understood by many – well many AssistU Virtual Assistants who have studied this concept – that in order to have a high quality life, you need to put yourself at the top of the list. Sound selfish? It isn’t. By taking care of yourself, you’ll have more energy, more joy, and more of you to give to others. I’ll explain more about this in future posts.

I’m not big on resolutions, but there’s something exciting about folding up last year’s calendar and putting up a fresh new one at the beginning of the year. The last week of December I pulled out my new 2010 calendar and began entering my commitments – trainer for AssistU’s Virtual Training Program with 4 classes meeting each week for 20 weeks, weekly Praise Team and Choir rehearsals, meetings and commitments to the Women’s Ministry Team at my church and on and on. January began to quickly fill up, and I began to feel the pressure.  And then I received a very timely invitation from Stacy Brice to participate in 31 days of Self Care. Truthfully my reaction was mixed. I didn’t need another commitment and for 9 weeks! This may be just what I need to help me get back to living a high quality life and starting the year with a sense of control and focus.

So here I am… committed to focusing on my Self Care for 31 days. What is that going to look like? Well already I’m making a major commitment to my health. Heaven knows if nothing else, my back will appreciate that! (I’ll write more about that later too.) As I write this, I have a sense of excitement because I feel like I’ve given myself permission to do things for “me” – to focus on what brings me joy. Maybe it’s finishing the quilt I had hoped to have completed by this last Christmas, or setting aside time each day to read the books in my ever growing yet-to-read stack, or dedicating time just for my husband. Whatever it is, I know that the pleasure I derive will benefit those around me.

So I hope you will stick with me this month as I undertake this journey, and if you’d like to join me, please go to 31 days of Self Care. By the way, this concept of self care is the core of Cheryl Richardson’s Take Time for Your Life. It’s a life-changing book – one that begs to be read over and over.